I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
