No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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