i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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