my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
