why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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