Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
