As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
