you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
