I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
