Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
