Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize