I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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