Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
