just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
