DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
