She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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