turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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