your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
