I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
