I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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