I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
