Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I need to align my fucking chakras
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
