i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
