And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
