she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you win again, gameday.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
