smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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