her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
