He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
