i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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