i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
