Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
