You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So squirting runs in the family.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
