My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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