i don't like sucking hair
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bang-toberfest begins!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
