Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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