did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
