If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
