I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he was CRYING into my vagina
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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