She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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