I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
