blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
