the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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