Everything about him screamed your future.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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