i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
did i just pee glitter
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
