I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
