I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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