where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize