I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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