Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
