someone threw a dead crab at me
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
