hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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