Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
