You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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