I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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