My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
