I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
