No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
