So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
