That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
