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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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