Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
