i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
