Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
