I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
