3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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