Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
