Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
