why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
